We’ve all had moments where we felt the drive to change something in our lives—whether that’s losing weight, getting fitter, reducing stress, or simply feeling more in control. The motivation can start off high, we make a plan, we set the intention…
And then, before we know it, we’ve fallen off track.
You might have experienced this. We definitely have. That’s why in today’s blog, we want to share one of the simplest and most powerful tools that makes sticking to your goals easy, even when things get hard.
It all starts with one question:
“But why?”
The Power of Asking Why
When we try to change something—like losing weight or improving our fitness—we often stop at the first answer when asked why we want it.
“To be healthier.”
“To feel better about myself.”
“To gain confidence.”
These are all valid reasons. But they’re often not deep enough to hold up when your motivation inevitably dips, or when life gets busy and hard. If you’ve ever justified skipping a workout or ordering that extra takeaway after a stressful day, that’s your short-term-focused Gremlin winning over your long-term logical Human. The Gremlin can be brought on board, but it is an emotional creature and needs a good reason to play ball.
The antidote? Dig deeper.
The Deep Why
Your deep why is the foundation that supports your goals. It’s not just about what you want to achieve—it’s about why that achievement will genuinely change your life.
When you know your deep why, you have something to hold on to when the process becomes a grind. It becomes your anchor during the stormy days, the reason to keep going when your Gremlin is tempting you with Netflix and snacks.
Let’s walk through an example.
The “Why” Game – An Example
To show how this works in practice, my wife Demi will play the role of someone trying to lose weight:
Simon: Why do you want to lose weight?
Demi: To increase my confidence and avoid health issues.
Simon: Okay, but why does increasing your confidence matter?
Demi: I want to be more confident in finding a partner and in my career.
Simon: And why does finding a partner matter to you?
Demi: I’d like to start a family—I’m not getting younger!
Simon: What about your career?
Demi: I want to have influence, be invaluable to the company, and save up for a house.
Simon: Why is avoiding health conditions important?
Demi: My family has a history of heart disease. I want to be around to see my kids grow up and start their own families.
By the end of the chat, Demi’s deep whys are a lot clearer:
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To find a partner and start a family.
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To be respected and secure in her career, giving her financial stability.
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To stay healthy long-term and be present for her future children.
Compare that to the original answer: “To feel more confident and avoid health issues.”
One version might get you started—but the other version keeps you going.
Why This Works
When we dig for deeper meaning, we connect with our values, hopes, and fears. These are emotional drivers—stronger and more resilient than any motivational quote or 21-day plan. Your deep why doesn’t change overnight. It’s rooted in who you want to become.
And when temptation hits, you’re not just saying no to a piece of cake. You’re saying yes to being healthy enough to play with your kids or to finally feel secure in your own skin.
Actionable Steps – Find Your Deep Why
If you’re working on making a change in your life, here’s how you can find your deep why:
1. Start with Your Goal
What is it you want to achieve? Don’t overthink it—just start with a simple answer.
e.g., “I want to lose weight.”
2. Ask Yourself: Why Does That Matter?
Write your answer. Then ask: “But why does that matter to me?”
Do this 3–5 times. Each time, dig a little deeper.
3. Make Your Why Visual
Once you’ve found it, write it down. Stick it on your fridge, your mirror, or as a phone background. Make it real and visible.
4. Reconnect with It Often
When you’re tired, demotivated, or tempted to slip—go back to your why. Remind yourself who you’re becoming and what’s at stake.
Final Thoughts
It’s easy to start a journey of change. But staying on it? That takes depth.
The next time you feel like giving up, skipping a workout, or pushing that goal to “next Monday,” pause. Breathe. And ask yourself:
“But why does this matter to me?”
Because once you know your deep why, the how becomes a whole lot easier.
Are you looking for a personal trainer?
Whether you’re based in Leicester or prefer to work with me online, you can get in contact here!
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You’ve got this. Now go find your why.