One of the biggest mistakes I see people make is spending years spinning their wheels.
You want to lose weight. That’s fair. There’s nothing wrong with that. I too have had a massive focus on that side of the game for a lot of my journey.
But too often I see this big focus on weight play out in one of two ways:
1. You yo-yo in and out of dieting.
You “start Monday.” You’re good for a few weeks. Then motivation dips. Life happens. Old habits creep back in.
And no meaningful long-term progress is made.
2. You lose a big chunk of weight…
…but then spend forever fighting to lose “the last few pounds.”
You stay in a calorie deficit for months (if not bloody years!) — trying to squeeze out tiny bits of fat loss that barely changes how you look or feel.
I’ve done both games. I spent many years stuck in scenario one. And over the past 5 or so years have been bouncing around in scenario two. Sometimes lean as hell. Sometimes not. But never able to get every pound off that I want to drop for good.
But why does this actually matter?
Because weight loss, on its own, isn’t the thing most people are truly chasing.
What Actually Makes You Happier?
A number of studies have looked at how weight loss and fitness improvements actually effect mental wellbeing.
In these studies, participants are split into two groups:
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Group 1: Loses weight, but doesn’t improve fitness.
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Group 2: Gets fitter— but doesn’t lose weight (In fact they often gain weight due to more muscle etc).
And what we find…
The weight-loss-only group tends to see a small improvement in how they perceive themselves and become slightly happier. But still feel they need to “drop just a little more”.
But the group that improves their fitness?
They report significantly higher increases in happiness, confidence, and overall wellbeing.
Why?
Because competence feels great! Feeling capable in life makes us more confident in ourselves.
Being able to run further, lift heavier, move better, or simply climb the stairs without getting out of breath creates a completely different internal narrative:
“I’m capable.”
“I’m progressing.”
“I’m improving.”
That feeling runs deeper than aesthetics.
The Trap of Endless Dieting
Here’s the crux of it.
We think:
“Once I lose this weight, I’ll feel better.”
So we diet.
But dieting — especially aggressive or prolonged dieting — often comes with:
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Low energy
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Reduced training performance
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Irritability
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Increased hunger
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Obsession with food
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Reduced recovery
And when progress slows, we double down.
Less food. More cardio. More pressure.
We’re exhausted… chasing two pounds that likely won’t meaningfully change our lives.
That’s spinning your wheels.
How to Know If You’re Spinning Your Wheels
Be honest with yourself. Are you:
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Dieting more months than you’re not?
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Constantly trying to shave off the last 2–3 kg?
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Feeling weaker or flatter in the gym than you did last year?
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Mentally drained from thinking about food?
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No fitter than you were six months ago?
If so, it may not be a discipline issue.
It may be a direction issue.
A Better Approach
Now don’t get me wrong.
It’s absolutely fine to want to lose weight. We all care about how we look — me, you, everyone playing this game.
But if you find yourself:
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Yo-yo dieting without long-term progress
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Stuck chasing the last few pounds
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Feeling flat, tired, or constantly restricted
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Losing motivation
Then it might be time to shift your focus.
Instead of asking:
“How do I lose more weight?”
Ask:
“How do I become more capable?”
Change up your focus for a while. Keep training, but eat a bit more food (the right food!). This will give you the energy you need to:
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Train harder
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Recover faster
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Build muscle and aerobic fitness
You’re not making this change forever. You can always switch back to a weight loss focus whenever you want. You’re just doing it for long enough to build momentum again.
Your Action Plan: Shift from “Lighter” to “Better”
If this hits home, here’s how to reset.
1. Call a Diet Break (Properly)
For 6–12 weeks:
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Move to your estimated maintenance calories.
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Keep protein high.
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Stop focusing on the scale.
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Focus on fueling performance.
2. Set Performance Goals
Choose measurable targets:
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Add 10kg to your squat.
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Run 5km without stopping.
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Improve your resting heart rate.
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Complete 3 structured sessions per week for 8 weeks.
Progress you can see builds motivation and the belief that your becoming more capable.
3. Track Fitness, Not Just Weight
Instead of only logging your weight:
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Track strength numbers.
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Track cardio pace or distance.
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Track session consistency.
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Track energy levels.
Make performance your focus.
4. Reassess After 8–12 Weeks
After a focused performance phase, ask:
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Am I stronger?
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Am I fitter?
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Do I feel better?
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Is dieting now likely to be more productive?
And then decide on the way forward.
Final Thought
Weight loss isn’t pointless. We all want to look amazing. But it isn’t the ultimate goal either.
Capability. Strength. Fitness. Longevity. These are bigger wins and the things that will really matter in the long run.
So if you’re spinning your wheels chasing the last few pounds — maybe it’s time to stop trying to be lighter…and start trying to be better. At least for a while.
I’ll be sharing more of these self-reflections and lessons for you over time, so follow me on Facebook or Instagram if you’d like to see new articles. And keep an eye out for my upcoming Lifestyler video, where I’ll dive into this same topic in more depth.
And if you’re Leicester or Leicestershire based and are looking for a personal trainer then why not get in touch!
I offer personal training services for both one-to-one and couples sessions 